1. Two hours deep into antiquing, you discover a mid-century cabinet hidden between stacks of Playboy in the back. Inside are three treasures: a foldout travel map of the Pacific Coast Highway, a colored Urania’s Mirror set (constellation cards), and an original 7-inch vinyl of Fleetwood Mac’s “Dreams”.
Which do you choose?
A. the foldout map
B. the constellation cards
C. the 45 record
2. While stargazing out in a wheat field somewhere around Idaho, you catch a glimpse of what, at first, appears to be a shooting star.
As it plummets closer to Earth’s atmosphere you realize it’s an unidentified flying object; a UFO. Its pinkish, orange hull flies overhead and blows sweet wind across your face. The wheat shivers as you hold your breath.
How does this close encounter affect you?
A. You produce a series of wildly experimental amateur documentaries on alien life, a compilation of which eventually win you the Palme d’Or at Cannes Film Fest.
B. Using old HDMI cables and wires yanked from the back of your minifridge, you manage to recreate their alien technology in your garage to enormous academic (and financial) success.
C. You spend a decade writing a rock opera about the experience, composing the opus’ theme based on tones that emanated from the UFO itself.
3. The rainbow candles you bought for your next birthday are - surprise, surprise - genuinely magic. When your roommate lights them as a surprise from the next room, twinkling sparks explode in an arc of light. These surround you in an aura and whisper that you can make one wish, any wish, and the stars can make it true.
What’s your wish?
A. To never have to work again, freeing up all your weekends and afternoons for worldly travel.
B. To be given the necessary culinary skills to cook the best penne vodka in the universe.
C. To be able to play any musical instrument - and play it well - regardless of any prior experience.
4. Inexplicably, there’s a time machine in the basement of your local dive bar. The cover charge is only five bucks, so you pay it and step in. The dial in front of you offers a night out in any decade imaginable. It’s up to you to decide which party is worth your time.
Where are you going?
A. To the 70s; big hair, bell bottoms, disco balls.
B. To the 2010s; sepia photo-filters, striped turtlenecks, high-waisted jeans.
C. To the 90s; platform heels, pleated shirts, faux fur coats.
5. You wake up on the sandy floor of the Roman Colosseum, drenched in sweat and dirt. The stands are filled with cheering spectators eager for blood. The stoic emperor gives his signal to release your opponent from the cave below him. As the animal emerges from the darkness, you rack your brain to decide what monster you think you could beat in a fight.
Which do you choose?
A. Basilisk; you know its weakness is the odor of a weasel, and you can easily work up a sweat to smell close enough.
B. Catoblepas; a cow with the power to turn people to stone could be useful to you, and you can climb like a spider monkey, so taming it won’t be an issue.
C. Chimera; you’re really good at conflict resolution, so you can counsel its three parts on releasing anger in a healthier way.
6. You find yourself in possession of a large sum of money. A million dollars. Finally, you can fund that dream start-up you’ve been thinking about, and become the vomit-inducing girlbossentrepreneur you were always destined to be.
What’s your pitch?
A. A fusion food truck that unfolds out the back to reveal a clawfoot tub dog grooming station.
B. A fold-out couch that doesn’t hurt to sleep on.
C. A chip that gets inserted into someone’s head and automatically transmits the entire Cocteau Twins discography to their neurons.
